A4.6 Mám boky jako skříň - Ewa Farná

Mám boky jako skříň - Ewa Farná

Mám prostě od Pánbíčka Boky jako skříň, jako skříň Co naplat, když k tomu ráda jím, ráda jím, co naplat O liposukci vím, dobře vím, však za plat si život osladím, osladím. Noviny pročítám, no to je síla, Prý zase přibírám, málo se hlídám Prostě si trsám, trsám, Až vzduchem lítaj prsa, Kašlu vám na půst, Vždyť ženský má být kus. S vozíkem projíždím labyrint Tesca, Hledám svý XXL Všude jen S-ka. A míjím tyčky, tyčky, samý bulimičky, Zhubněte si na kost, Ale já mám toho dost. Moje máma mi říkala, Neboj se maličká... Moje máma mi říkala, Krásná jsi celičká... I Když doma mě chválí, Tak na Miss mě nevzali Čert to vem, Vždyť můj život je sladký, jak BON PARI. To víš, Kluci chtěj Na noc barbíny co nemyslej A když jim není hej Přicupitaj na tvůj práh, chtěj zahřát a maj hlad.

I just have from the Lord God hips like a skříň, like a skříň What’s there to do, if … I like to eat I like to eat, what’s there to do I know about liposuction, I know it well, but [my] salary [goes to] sweetening my life, sweetening my life I read over and over in the newspapers, yeah it’s so strong, Allegedly I’m gaining weight again, I watch myself [only] a little I’m simply bursting, bursting when the breath bursts from my chest I don’t give a sh*t about fasting After all, femininity should be a piece/chunk. With my cart I stroll through the labyrinth of Tesco I look for my XXL Everywhere just S’s. I pass by beanpoles, beanpoles, all of them bulimics Y’all just lose your weight down to the bone But I’ve had enough of that. My mother told me don’t worry, little girl My mother told me You are totally beautiful Even though they praise me at home I did not get into Miss. But d*mn it after all my life is sweet like Bon Pari. You know, at night boys want barbies that don’t think And when it’s not “hey” to them They just suddenly scuttle right over to your doorstep They want to get warm and are hungry

I’ve just that I’ve been blessed my hips are a whole armoire wide, amoire wide can’t help it I shove the food inside, down inside can’t help it Lipo’s a thing that I’ve tried, many times, can’t help it that I like my donuts fried, donuts fried Tabloids are bored again, I see the headlines They keepin’ tabs on me, and on my waistline My shirts keep burstin’ buttons Suck in this top of muffin But I ain’t gonna sulk ‘cuz a girl should have some bulk I stroll through Nordstrom to shop for dresses. Look for my XXL - there’s only S’s! I try to find the exit from all these anorexics Y’all just keep on throwin’ up, As for me, I’ve had enough. My mother would tell me, my little dear, don’t worry My mother would tell me You’re perfect and lovely Despite what she said, I did’n’ win beauty queen But screw it all, I love that my life’s sweet like halloween. You know boys at night like brainless barbies wh’do it right And then after midnight they come begging at your door ‘cuz they’re hungry and need warmth.

[Chorus] Because you know I'm all about that bass 'Bout that bass, no treble I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass [Verse 1] Yeah, it's pretty clear, I ain't no size two But I can shake it, shake it, like I'm supposed to do 'Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase And all the right junk in all the right places I see the magazines working that Photoshop We know that shit ain't real, come on now, make it stop If you got beauty beauty just raise 'em up 'Cause every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top [Pre-Chorus] Yeah, my momma she told me don't worry about your size She says, boys like a little more booty to hold at night (That booty, booty, uh, that booty booty) You know I won't be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll So, if that's what's you're into then go ahead and move along [Chorus] Because you know I'm all about that bass 'Bout that bass, no treble I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass [Verse 2] Hey, I'm bringing booty back Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that No, I'm just playing I know you think you're fat But I'm here to tell you Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top

Okay, so without sarcasm, I can say that this subtle euphemism is a bit clever. Too bad it’s so...repetitive. Size two is too tiny for most people, anyway. Most people would be happy, as well as healthy, with size six. Okay. What? Who says you’re “supposed” to do anything? You’re talking about shaking your butt? This is….dumb. Boom Boom. Really? What, are you four? “Right junk” is such a nasty way to refer to body parts and brings to mind restless teenage boys masterbating for some reason. It is just so...ugh. I would never use the s word here. What is the “‘em” you’re supposed to be raising? Your arms? This philosophy taken to the extreme is...not...good. #obesityforthewin! Aww, nice mom. EW MOM STOP TALKING ABOUT THAT WITH ME! (holds head in hands in shame) ← this is the most cloying line to me in the whole song. What exactly is it that you’re saying about how relationships work? Aren’t you equating them with things like traffic accidents (“nothing to see here, move along”) or even worse, some kind of factory assembly line? That’s so...dehumanizing. Ugh. Yeah. You’re...really sure about your influence, there. Cocky. Skinny’s b’s is such a nasty, cruel phrase. So mean. Yet again...this is not a great philosophy…#diabetesisIN!

In total, my opinion is that the Czech is much darker about the underlying discourse about how relationships between men and women work.

In English, this song infers that men are this mindless group of people who just want one thing.

In Czech, this song infers that men are this mindless group of people who just want one thing, and then eventually like pathetic children they come crawling back to the fat girls who will both warm them up and give them more (I guess the joke is that it is both sexually and with food/candy).

Both of these ideas are totally lame-o.

In English, the song infers that there’s some kind of dichotomy between fat women and skinny women. The fat women are real, the skinny women are either just totally fake and photoshopped or they are total jerks, “skinny b’s.”

In Czech, the song seems to more infer that it’s Ewa against the world. Everybody writing nasty things about her in the tabloids. She sees all the skinny women around her, all of them are bulimics except her. It’s less about the dichotomy between fat/skinny, it’s more about her personally.

In English, it’s almost like a crusade to the world about, “Fat is sexy.” In Czech, it’s more like, “Screw sexy, I’m gonna do my own thing and I don’t care.” Dunno, maybe the Czech is more hopeless.

Both of them are super irritating songs.

But then…

This version almost makes me like the song.

They sing it in a much nicer way and got rid of the really nastily mean word “bitches.”

They also aren’t taking themselves seriously. Like, at all. The bassist can hardly keep himself from cracking up.

Wish they were wearing more clothes, but whatever. The sound of it is about 100x better than the original.

As are 99% of the sound of all the stuff postmodern jukebox does. Pity about the lyrics remaining subpar.