I am going to try writing in Czech.
Ahoj!
Hi!
Hmm, you probably wonder why I am writing in Czech. Let’s see if I can do this without being an idiot.
Jak dlouho Lenky rodičů budou u vás?
Is it really rodičů? I thought it was rodiče. Rodiče like muž, right? So 2. pád plural would be mužů. It should be rodičů I guess.
Do neděle.
(*rodiče)
Oh. I guessed wrong.
Rodiče
Tak...co budete dělat?
I hope the verb aspect I chose doesn’t make this come across as if it’s some kind of interrogation. Also I hope it’s obvious I am intentionally asking about all of you guys; I guess if I asked, “what are you going to do?” singular, in the context of your in-laws coming home, it would have a much different meaning. Maybe I should clarify what I mean.
Máte nějaké plány?
Now this must really sound like an interrogation.
Nic zvláštního. Zrovna jsme v lese na procházce.
Hmm. I am not really sure what “zvláštní” means in this context. I thought it meant something like “strange.” But there’s no way you said, “nothing strange.” Obviously you guys wouldn’t be doing something strange. That would be really out of character. I guess it must mean nothing in particular, nothing important. I have never seen the word “Zrovna” before, but the rest of the sentence means you guys are going to go in the woods on a walk.
Hezký
Wait, can you use this word this way in Czech? And maybe it should be neuter. But that seems wrong, too, since it’s supposed to be a casual conversation. What.
A jsi domu?
What I really want to know is if I should stop texting right now. If you’re home, I want to leave you alone. If you’re at work, and you respond, I can probably text you for a little bit without bothering you too much. But asking all these questions is really making me feel like I’m interrogating you. But I don’t know the word for interrogation. I’ll just guess.
Je to interogace heh
Cože? ☺
Nejsem doma, jsem v lese
Dang it. I have made this mistake with “doma” at least 100 times. Why isn’t it sticking in my brain!?
(výslech)
Oh. Duh.
Oh oops. I guess the word “zrovna” was apparently pretty important. Aaaand the verb tense. I should have noticed. I guess I am a mild irritation, interrupting their walk. Augh. And výslech must be the word for interrogation. Kind of looks like the word slyšet or slečno or výsledek. What does výsledek mean again? I do not remember.
Tak, budu nechat...
(nechám)
Oh, of course. Helping verbs aren’t so much of a thing. Right.
Mějte se krásný víkend v lese
I hope you get the joke I am trying to make. But I guess you probably won’t - you’ll think I misunderstood you. But I am not a moron - of course you’re not going to spend your whole weekend in the woods.
Ne, za chvíli se vrátíme domů, nebudeme v lese celý víkend.
Aaaand I was right. That was a fail.
Hej, tomu jsem rozuměla
Gotta protect my remaining shreds of pride.
Taky se měj! Ahoj! 😊
You can say it that way? I didn’t know you could put the “se” there.
Půjdu do Minnesoty
So, I said goodbye...but I wanted to mention this.
Pojedeš, hádám.
Crap. I always mix up going and driving.
Sakra máš pravdu
I hope this is not too strong of a swear word. Lukáš uses it. I am pretty sure he is more likely to use words like “fiddlesticks” and “balderdash” than anything heavier.
Na to jít pěšky je to docela daleko.
You are probably smirking a little.
I to jít autem
Yes. It is far. Very far. Too far.
Jet autem. Takže poletíš do Minnesoty?
Auugh how is it possible that I made the same mistake again? I guess “pojedu” and “jet” just really do not look very similar.
Ne. Je příliš drahé
Pojedu s mým otcem a Joey
Wait, does Joey decline here? If it did, it would be “Joeyem” I guess, but that looks terrible!
Je nějaký CGSI konference
Here I am, trying to sound all casual. I don’t know if this really translates well. “Some CGSI Conference.” It doesn’t really work in English, either, I guess. Some random conference. Yeah. Like you drive 3 ½ hours to some random conference that happens to casually occur on a random weekend. As if it weren’t planned many months in advance.
Ha, "Joeyem".
Nějaká
I guess that “konference” looks more like a feminine word, and also I know that words pretty much default to feminine.
Joeyem? Opravdu?
Ha
Ha. I was right, but only in my mind.
Opravdu. Ano, je to ošklivé. 😊
Haha
Well, at least you admit that my instinct is right - this is totally ugly.
Už nechám…
I had better go.
Čau!
Příjemnou cestu a zajímavou konferenci. Ahoj!
Ty... také...haha
I hope you get the joke.
😊
Oh good, you do.
Bez konference
Wait, that is how you say konference in 2. pád, isn’t it? Konference like...like what? Like růže? It does NOT look like růže. Vzory...
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