neohrabaná konverzace

I am going to try writing in Czech.
Hmm, you probably wonder why I am writing in Czech. Let’s see if I can do this without being an idiot.
Jak dlouho Lenky rodičů budou u vás?
Is it really rodičů? I thought it was rodiče. Rodiče like muž, right? So 2. pád plural would be mužů. It should be rodičů I guess.
Do neděle.
Oh. I guessed wrong.
Rodiče budete dělat?
I hope the verb aspect I chose doesn’t make this come across as if it’s some kind of interrogation. Also I hope it’s obvious I am intentionally asking about all of you guys; I guess if I asked, “what are you going to do?” singular, in the context of your in-laws coming home, it would have a much different meaning. Maybe I should clarify what I mean.
Máte nějaké plány?
Now this must really sound like an interrogation.
Nic zvláštního. Zrovna jsme v lese na procházce.
Hmm. I am not really sure what “zvláštní” means in this context. I thought it meant something like “strange.” But there’s no way you said, “nothing strange.” Obviously you guys wouldn’t be doing something strange. That would be really out of character. I guess it must mean nothing in particular, nothing important. I have never seen the word “Zrovna” before, but the rest of the sentence means you guys are going to go in the woods on a walk.
Wait, can you use this word this way in Czech? And maybe it should be neuter. But that seems wrong, too, since it’s supposed to be a casual conversation. What.
A jsi domu?
What I really want to know is if I should stop texting right now. If you’re home, I want to leave you alone. If you’re at work, and you respond, I can probably text you for a little bit without bothering you too much. But asking all these questions is really making me feel like I’m interrogating you. But I don’t know the word for interrogation. I’ll just guess.
Je to interogace heh
Cože? ☺
Nejsem doma, jsem v lese
Dang it. I have made this mistake with “doma” at least 100 times. Why isn’t it sticking in my brain!?
Oh. Duh.
Oh oops. I guess the word “zrovna” was apparently pretty important. Aaaand the verb tense. I should have noticed. I guess I am a mild irritation, interrupting their walk. Augh. And výslech must be the word for interrogation. Kind of looks like the word slyšet or slečno or výsledek. What does výsledek mean again? I do not remember.
Tak, budu nechat...
Oh, of course. Helping verbs aren’t so much of a thing. Right.
Mějte se krásný víkend v lese
I hope you get the joke I am trying to make. But I guess you probably won’t - you’ll think I misunderstood you. But I am not a moron - of course you’re not going to spend your whole weekend in the woods.
Ne, za chvíli se vrátíme domů, nebudeme v lese celý víkend.
Aaaand I was right. That was a fail.
Hej, tomu jsem rozuměla
Gotta protect my remaining shreds of pride.
Taky se měj! Ahoj! 😊
You can say it that way? I didn’t know you could put the “se” there.
Půjdu do Minnesoty
So, I said goodbye...but I wanted to mention this.
Pojedeš, hádám.
Crap. I always mix up going and driving.
Sakra máš pravdu
I hope this is not too strong of a swear word. Lukáš uses it. I am pretty sure he is more likely to use words like “fiddlesticks” and “balderdash” than anything heavier.
Na to jít pěšky je to docela daleko.
You are probably smirking a little.
I to jít autem
Yes. It is far. Very far. Too far.
Jet autem. Takže poletíš do Minnesoty?
Auugh how is it possible that I made the same mistake again? I guess “pojedu” and “jet” just really do not look very similar.
Ne. Je příliš drahé
Pojedu s mým otcem a Joey
Wait, does Joey decline here? If it did, it would be “Joeyem” I guess, but that looks terrible!
Je nějaký CGSI konference
Here I am, trying to sound all casual. I don’t know if this really translates well. “Some CGSI Conference.” It doesn’t really work in English, either, I guess. Some random conference. Yeah. Like you drive 3 ½ hours to some random conference that happens to casually occur on a random weekend. As if it weren’t planned many months in advance.
Ha, "Joeyem".
I guess that “konference” looks more like a feminine word, and also I know that words pretty much default to feminine.
Joeyem? Opravdu?
Ha. I was right, but only in my mind.
Opravdu. Ano, je to ošklivé. 😊
Well, at least you admit that my instinct is right - this is totally ugly.
Už nechám…
I had better go.
Příjemnou cestu a zajímavou konferenci. Ahoj!
Ty... také...haha
I hope you get the joke.
Oh good, you do.
Bez konference
Wait, that is how you say konference in 2. pád, isn’t it? Konference what? Like růže? It does NOT look like růže. Vzory...

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