Nedostatek samohlásek
A Lack of Vowels
For native English speakers,
one has but to take a glance
at a single phrase in Czech to know
they haven't got a chance.
It's not devoid of cognates,
but that's really not apparent
through the massive lack of vowels,
which is really quite aberrant.
For how am I to pronounce words
completely lacking vowels?
It either gives one headaches
or does something to one’s bowels.
Stick fingers into any throat*,
or give cold wolves their grain,**
no matter what you try to do
this language causes pain.
The words have all been chopped to bits
then tossed with k's and z's.
And trying to pronounce an ř
brings devils to their knees.
Why is it such a bother to
mark schwas in sheep and fathers***?
And there’s multiple good reasons
why baptism**** is a bother!
And English-speaking gadgets
to this rule are no exception.
“Take the next left to B-R-N-
O” - her cop-out directions.
Hard though it be t’enunciate
still I am not a quitter -
but nothing in my world of Czech
had better ever glitter*****!
*Strč prst skrz krk.
**Vlk zmrzl, zhltl hrst zrn.
*** ovce, otcové
****pokřtít
*****třpytit se - ughhhh!
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